Fascinating.
It's amazing what doing fewer drugs and getting a good night's sleep can do for your mental health. What I find the most interesting about the present situation is that even though I have yet to actually *solve* the many problems I currently have (95% of which are financial), simply being awake during daylight and trying to get the balls rolling so that I may someday be able to solve said issues has me feeling better than I have since early October. Really.
There's no accounting for it. (Okay, that's a lie.)
What I find the most encouraging about this situation is the fact that I have been able to continue smoking. Now, I don't have any pot, so I've been scraping resin out of my pipes (okay, a little nasty, and a little too much work, but meh. On the plus side, my pipes are cleaner) and smoking about half a bowl of resin each night for the past few evenings, shortly before having a cup of tea and passing out. However, this adds to my theory that a little self-control is all I need when it comes to smoking the ganj. An incredibly positive development. I also find that my hold on sanity is tightening, which is very, very comforting. To quote, "Everything in moderation, especially moderation."
Still, I have a lot of shit to work out. I need money is a desperate, desperate way. To that end I'm actually working on my resume (gasp!). The hope, presently, is that I'll be able to get a job at the Import House starting soonish. Probably around the beginning of the year, which honestly isn't soon enough, but if that's what works, that's what works. I'm pretty good at creative finances and worming my way out of tight spots, so I should be able to keep the bank off my back until I start getting paychecks.
Watch this space. I really want to get some musings about the stuff kicking around in my head up here. I really really really want to get this stuff out of my head.
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Now playing: Motion City Soundtrack - Can't Finish What You Started
via FoxyTunes
